Support Systems

Support systems in our Fellowship
By: Robert Barton

Over the course of years, we in Druidry have wrestled with questions of support and whether or not the members of our Fellowship were receiving adequate attention in this area. These discussions have always been complicated by the fact that we have several different types of support systems in our organization. A further complication is that support styles are very individualistic with each member having their own preference made up of how they give and best receive support.
I would first like to examine what social support is and how it operates in our lives. There are to be found among various sources, many differing definitions of social support, but the most often referenced definition was advanced by Cobb (1976). Cobb views social support as an exchange of information at the interpersonal level which provides three things:
Emotional support, leading the individual to believe that they are cared for.
Esteem support, leading the individual to believe that they are valued.
Network support, leading he individual to feel that they belong to a communication network of mutual understanding and obligation.
I their 1976 book, The Strength in Us, Alfred Katz and Eugene Bender describe the place of support in our lives:
"...Throughout history, people have used connections with small groups, with family and kinfolk, with peers and the like-mind, to give themselves anchorage in stormy, shifting seas; but in twentieth-century America (and elsewhere in the modern world), these connections have become critical to individual survival."
"...To exist, humans need to recognize themselves and to be recognized by the society around them in all dimensions of their humanity. Survival in the modern world means more than having one's purely physical needs met; people must discover and be accepted for what they are. They need to love, to be valued, to experience, to give, to share with others, to transcend the boundaries of their own egos - to give and take in a social communion."
Another type of support that is specific to religious organizations such as our is spiritual support. All of the aspects of social support are to be found in spiritual support, but these networks expand beyond human social circles and include relationships with deities, ancestors and the natural world around us. Religious organizations intentionally establish networks that include the divine, mystical and spiritual as a living and contributing part of the system.
In Druidry we have myriad networks that can give support to the individual, the most basic being simple membership of a fellowship that provides the individual with a sense of belonging to a group; in this instance a group that shares a set of beliefs that may not be common in the general social environment of the individual. Often the very beliefs that set us aside and in some way separate us from our immediate social environment and even our families and friends, provide a point of connection to this new group, and the things that may have once been barriers become bridges.
Direct social interaction among the members of the Fellowship takes many shapes and each one of these shapes becomes a network of support. Even knowing one other member that you occasionally see can be considered a support system. Something as simple as regular phone appointments with advisors in the study programs can give a lot of support to the individual as can any of the direct one-on-one mentoring programs used in our organization.
Local congregations often become very strong support networks for the people involved and the local structure is a cornerstone of many Druidic activities. Our congregations give their members a place to be and share their feelings and thoughts with others who have the same or similar values. Direct spiritual guidance and assistance is available within our congregations through the Clergy who have become the direct face of Druidic leadership. Our Druid Clergy often learn the job by doing it, and they are the hands that actually feel the living pulse of our organization.
Festivals are another strong aspect of Druidic support as the members return to them year after year to see and be seen, to be recognized and to belong. How many times do we drive into the festival grounds, see a familiar face, sit by a fire with an old friend and talk, watch people walk by, listen to music and feel like we are home?
Our email lists can each become a communication network, sometimes busy, at other times quiet but always there with ears ready to hear us and voices ready to respond. This sort of network is relatively new in the scheme of things and so has not been explored to the fullest, but many changes have been wrought by them. For many members these lists have become the most important link in their personal chain of support. Often, people who are solitary worshippers in their local area use these lists as the connection to our community.
Publications, both organizational and local can become another support system as they share information through articles and current events. A large Publication would inform the whole organization on broad issues concerning us all while also helping our people to learn as articles and ideas are presented to the entire membership. Perhaps someday we will have a regular large publication available to our people. Local newsletters are more specific to areas and smaller groups, and yet as they are exchanged between congregations they let us see what others are doing and can be a fantastic source of ideas for local activities.
Study program structure in Druidry has been arranged so that each person can learn what they feel they need to know and it allows them to stop at whatever level of knowledge they consider sufficient. A simple program that allows one to develop basic skills and knowledge stands as either an education in basic practice or as a doorway to continued learning. A diverse educational system is now the foundation of study which allows our people to study poetics, law & ethics, theology and subjects as made available through religious orders.
Support styles vary greatly from individual to individual, with there being no perfect universal formula for support each of us must examine our own support style by asking ourselves four questions, the answers to which clarify our personal ideas about support:
How do I define support?
How do I like to be supported?
How do I like to give support?
What types of attempts at support make me feel uncomfortable?
As we answer these questions, we become consciously aware of our own ideas and needs where support is concerned. Just doing this as an individual can help us to plan our activities and efforts to include and meet our own needs. People in any type of relationship can benefit from this exercise when done together, from a husband and wife becoming better able to support one another to a Prest/ess knowing far better how to assist each local member in the way best suited to that individual. But the awareness developed by either the individual or group is always a step in the right direction.
As a group exercise this can give very interesting and varied result, we often find that what makes one feel supported may be too much for another and that what satisfies one feel may leave another feeling starved for attention. The larger the group, the wider will be the parameters of the answers to these questions. But by sharing these answers with one another a communication will be established that often allows for a sincere understanding of what one may expect or be willing to contribute. Issues of group confusion are sometimes clarified when we come to understand what another can and cannot do and so make our expectations of that person more reasonable. A group activity of this sort can take a meeting or even several meetings to explore and process, but it can certainly be worth it.
From all of this begins to emerge a process through which each member can tailor their involvement and activity in our Fellowship so that it addresses their needs in the best way that it can. By first answering these simple questions we begin to know what we want from our religious activities and can look around to decide what aspects and people within the organization are best suited to supporting us and where we can be of the most support to the organization and other members.
For some, we want and need the interaction of other members at a local level, others may not want this or may not have a congregation near them and so they will be solitary in their general practice. Maybe the only way that we can get that direct contact is to visit a festival each year, while for others email lists or regular phone contact may provide sufficient contact.
Once an individual has identified the parameters of their own support style they need to ask two further questions:
What do I want from the Fellowship?
What do I offer to the Fellowship?
After these questions have been answered and this information combined with what one discovered about their needs and strengths in the earlier questions, a plan can be formulated to enable the individual to both best be served by and contribute to the organization. Perhaps one discovers that there is no congregation local to them and so they must be solitary, they also discover that they have a need to be recognized for their artistic expressions of spirituality and feel that they want some basic education in Druidry and perhaps some training in artistic expressions of faith. So a plan is designed by the person through which he or she may start his or her studies, and contact other artistically inclined members. He or she may also send a few artistic works to a publication, and plan to make one trip to a Druidic festival each year as a vacation.
While there is certainly no organization that can fulfill all of the needs and wants of every person, our fellowship has a lot to offer to members. By making ourselves aware of what it is that we actually want and need from this organization we have a far better chance of actually obtaining adequate support. By familiarizing ourselves with what it is that we each can bring to our people we can better support the organization and other members. Knowledge of what the Fellowship can and cannot do and what it can provide allows us to have reasonable expectations and goals that enable us to each feel that we are both supported by and contribute to this organization.